I’m Upset (Not the Song by Drake)
Someone has done something silly and I’m not very happy about it.
I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday, and I came upon this tweet:
I really want to flog the person who wrote that tweet. Really bad. When I first saw it, I read it over again and again hoping it had some other meaning I couldn’t grasp.
“Pretty female honourable.”
What does that even mean? ‘She’s pretty and that’s what really matters, not her name?’ It’s saddening that the person saw nothing wrong with describing her as pretty alone, diminishing all her other attributes.
There are only 11 female Honourables, so I’m pretty sure it’s a short list of names. So what’s this person’s excuse?
But that’s not the important question. The question is if it was a man who looked like Idris Elba or Michael B. Jordan, would his name be skipped over? Would it have described a man simply as handsome without giving a name?
I wonder what this says about how women are really perceived and how much value is placed on a woman’s looks. Will her looks always be a part of the conversation?
I remember a discussion I had with a friend and he mentioned that a woman’s looks will always contribute to how her society perceives her; I strongly disagreed. I’m upset that perhaps he was right and it will always be about the appearance for women.
Anytime I hear the phrase ‘beauty and brains‘, I do an inner eye-roll and make a silent groan. It has always sounded a bit condescending to me. So does it mean intelligence alone is not enough, neither is just beauty?
I picture it’s some kind of wooden ladder carved by the society for us to scale, and at the very top lies the shining medal for beauty and brains. And why do we bring this up only when we’re talking about women? Abeg.
So who’s that woman?
That’s Lynda Chuba-Ikpeazu. She’s been in the House of Representatives since 1999. She was the first winner of the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria pageant. She has multiple degrees in communication, business administration and law. She also does some work as a sports administrator.
This marks the end of my first rant.?
Let me know your thoughts.
How many strokes of cane does this person really deserve?
Why is there so much value placed on a woman’s appearance?
Is #BeautyandBrains a valid description or another unnecessary ladder?
I think theres too much focus on how women look.
We don’t need the ladder?
I agree Tobi?
The person that wrote the tweet is an idiot if he could write it and still sleep comfortably in bed at night.
You know? He needs to be severely flogged
The APC Twitter handler deserves 40 lashes save 1 ?. To the real matter, I think a woman’s looks will always be part of the conversation, except men are wiped out. Men are wired to prioritise the way a woman looks many times to their own detriment in weighty matters of marriage for example. Men look and look again at a cute face the same way women look at toned muscles, maybe one more than the other but you get the point.
Women themselves know this that’s why some have weaponized their beauty ?. This does not excuse the tweet, he certainly goofed. The legitimate achievements of women need to more recognized, we are getting there. People acting surprised when they meet an intelligent beautiful woman says a lot about their general expectations from women?
Well said Layi!
Thank you for this honest take at things.
And that beauty and brains phrase will never be valid. All it’s saying is that it is so remarkable if someone who is beautiful is also intelligent and that it is not a common occurrence
It’s really tautological
I’m hoping the tweet gets deleted and then an apology issued.
Concerning how too much focus on how women look has been, I personally believe there are two sides to the coin in some sorts, I believe everyone has his/her fair share of the blame i.e both genders and Social media appears to be a very nice culture medium for this issue.
I think we can all deduce what I mean, no need for stories but heyy I don’t mind a woman with both and her getting recognition for both of them.
There are definitely several contributing factors
Thank you Feranmi!
Wow, so dixguxting. African Journalism with a whole lot of patriachal Sauce. Wont be suprised if someone who worked/works at punch is in charge of that account. Btw, What is the male version of beauty and brains by the way… Balls and sCum?
Whoever wrote the tweet should definitely be flogged into oblivion. I’m tired!!!!!
Oh well. If I start now, they will say I’m a violent feminist. Strokes of cane, nahhhh, brain reset. We all know strokes of cane doesn’t really change a Nigerian child. Especially at this one’s age.
This mentality, which is owned by both men and women, is what makes many women strive for unattainable levels of beauty.
That’s why the saying is “beauty and brains”, not “brains and beauty”. Beauty usually comes first.
To be honest, beauty holds more value than brains, which makes me sad. Even in “more enlightened” parts of the world (refers to several Trump comments about various female senators, and congresswomen; but yet, I digress)
It’s a method of suppression I think. Make women feel like once you are pretty, you have achieved something, so you don’t have to worry about achieving the other things (the things that actually matter).
However, another thing we need to discuss is the issue with men and money. A man can be “ugly” but if he is rich it is fine, or poor and pretty.
The only thing that stands out is that this measurement scale for men doesn’t have anything to do with their mental capacity as we all know there are several ways of becoming rich. Unlike with women. For men you can be pretty, and be broke, and you can be rich and not be pretty. One characteristic balances out the other, to determine your value in this warped society. But for women, You can be pretty without Brains but you cannot be brainy without being pretty. Your value is significantly reduced when you don’t have that one feature (pretty).
That being intelligent alone is not enough, now that makes me sad.
Sorry for writing another blog post in your blog post!
You triggered me.
Great piece by the way …
It really is a warped society. Thank you so much for this rich contribution!
That ain’t right
It’s quite unfortunate that the handler of the Twitter handle didn’t act any better. It couldn’t have taken him beyond a google search to have identified the lady.
It sure would sound odd for any guy to be described in such a formal structure as ‘handsome with brains’. I’m sure the ‘describer’ would get a queer look from his listeners.
Thumbs up Dupe, let’s hope this sensitizes some folks.
It’s really saddening that such a tweet of so much ignorance with so little information can be displayed..calling a woman by discription without mentioning her name. My dear I hope you gave a good response to make the handler of twitter handler know he is a fool