They say the decade is coming to an end.
They say we’re to start planning for the new year, and the next decade, writing down and drafting up goals and aspirations. As much as I’d like to do that, the honest truth is that I am fatigued.
I just finished my Senior Pediatrics rotation, and it was eight intense weeks of stress and anxiety. It tired me out and now I am taking some time to rest. For the most part of the holidays I have been eating to stupor and sleeping at any chance I get.
Oh but I’ve been thinking about this year.
2019 more than ever, I was honest with my feelings. I lived my truth. I did things because I genuinely wanted to do. I said no to the things that I didn’t agree with, or didn’t want to be a part of.
2019 I stretched out my hands in the light, looked at my skin and saw what it was really like. I ran my hands over my body to see what it felt like. I looked in the mirror and I winked at that person.
I removed a tooth this year. I also ate a lot of Ofada Rice.
2019 was a lesson in love and vulnerability, and I’ve seen that perhaps letting people get close isn’t always a bad idea. (Except when it is. Human beings are still very wicked please, don’t forget.)
2019 I saw that sometimes it’s okay to just watch things happen as everything cannot be under one’s control.
I learnt that ice cream will always make everything better.
My favorite song in 2019 was Coldplay’s Something Just Like This. I have probably listened to every cover of the song available on the internet. I look forward to seeing what song will be my obsession in 2020.
A close second would be Hillsong’s Highlands. The first time I heard it was in a church service and I remember reading the lyrics in wonder, too stunned to open my mouth to sing.
My favorite dish this year was spaghetti, which has been with me through the highs and the lows. It would still be spaghetti next year.
My favorite color was the color of my mother’s jollof rice, that shade of burnt orange that assures me that all will be okay.
The best thing I read this year was A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. It was such beautiful storytelling and left me undone for days.
I don’t know what 2020 will look like, but I know I have hopes. I hope I write more. I hope I take lots of ice cream. I hope I’m never too ashamed to speak or live my truth. I hope I never lose my wonder.
Thank you for staying with me this year. How did 2019 treat you?
Cheers to 2020.