Stayin’ Alive (Not The Bee Gees Song)

I apologize for the dramatic title but these are the times we live in.

2020 was supposed to be all about getting my life together.

If life was following the calendar we had all agreed on, I should be in my rural Community Medicine posting, taking a few classes, doing some research work, but mostly enjoying my life. Living, loving, laughing.

I thy known.

After spending about four weeks at home, I am assured that school was designed to put some distance between us and the adults.

To put it mildly, living with my parents has been war. We’re now at the point where I am no longer pretending to find their WhatsApp videos funny. Since only God (and the Chinese) knows how long we are going to be indoors, let us all show one another our true colors.

If you’re at home, I admonish you to show them all your irresponsible behavior now so there will be no dramatic surprises when you are tired of keeping up appearances.

They’re also fed up with me as I have not been tolerant of some of their actions. My family group chat used to be alive with broadcast messages laced with ridiculous lies and propaganda about the coronavirus. I would reply with stern warnings about being peddlers of false information and creating fears in people’s heart.

When it seemed that was not enough, some of their conspiracy messages were met by a tirade of LOL and laughter emojis. I believe they are now too scared to send any message to the group chat as things have been quiet there. I know they are still exchanging BCs with their friends but not everyone can be saved.

I have had all sorts of days during this global crisis.

Some days I wake up and this our present reality seems surreal to me. I feel like I have been caught in this endless loop of time and I am just livid. What is this ruin I have found myself in? What is actually the meaning of all this nonsense?

Other days are great, when I am lost in a book and time loses meaning. I successfully suppress the urge to check social media for updates on how the apocalypse is getting worse. In those moments I am oblivious and it is bliss.

There are blue days, when I can see the ever looming depression waving from a distance. I take a detour and look for my anchors. I turn up the music and let it take me instead.

The leaders of the #GetThisBread movement have proposed that we all put this time to ‘good use’, because apparently the ‘grind’ never stops. Abeg. For now I have surrendered myself to the forces of unproductivity, let them do with me as they please. Perhaps at some time they will let me go and I can go on to achieve something.

Book recommendations? I just finished Hairdresser of Harare, it’s short, interesting and not too complex. I’m about to start An American Marriage by Tayari Jones and I’ll let you know how that goes.

I haven’t been watching a lot of shows, but when I do it’s mostly reality TV. Judge me all you want but reality shows are where the treasures lie. They provide the adequate dose of drama my Yoruba soul needs. Some of my favorite shows like Insecure and Killing Eve are coming back this month so cheers to April!

How is your lockdown going? Are you like me, close to flogging the adults you live with? What are you binge watching/reading/eating?

Please stay at home, wash your hands and don’t go around shaking anybody.

Don’t let your enemies have the final laugh.

25 thoughts on “Stayin’ Alive (Not The Bee Gees Song)

  1. Dr Dupe, I unwisely (based on my instincts) and wisely (based on what I just read) refused to go home when I had the chance.

    Tell you the truth, let us just enjoy our parents like that.

  2. Nice read Dupe! My mom has also stopped sending me the hilarious bcs. But any time I mention something that is actually true about covid 19 prevention, it becomes binding and casting that is suspiciously directed at me. I’m tired.

  3. Rona lo ma pa N-E-Mies. 😀
    Churning through William Blake’s works mildly but mostly taking online classes. Oh yeah, still a sacrificial lamb for the government

    1. The present moment well captured and expressed in simple words though hilarious.
      I totally can relate with your stay home experiences. Thanks for sharing.

  4. I can relate so much, I’m honestly so tired and I cannot wait for this whole thing to be over, I miss the outside.
    😂🤣 2020 was suppose to be the year and right now I don’t know again, I just pray it gets better.
    I loved reading this btw

  5. Ah yes my Parents still call me everyday and have no problems staying indoors since they’re old people anyway and yes great read.

    PS. Make sure you don’t end up beating up your parents 😂

  6. Enjoy reading this. I can totally relate to most of this, been dusting cobwebs off my photography skills and inventing new ways to live in peace with my folks.

  7. I can’t help but love the way you write …….
    I can literally follow what’s going on in your head.
    And that part of unproductivity leaving you when it so pleased was a good laugh for me…..writing this shows signs of departure if you ask me.

  8. Lolsss…

    Hilarious read.

    I resisted the urge to join the family in Lagos. I knew it might lead to world war Z.

    And those WhatsApp broadcast videos ehn…

    I think it comes with the how to be a Nigerian Parent Manual…all my peddler of false information threats haven’t worked so far.

  9. As always, great piece.

    I had to leave home because I just knew I was going to consistently get in heated arguments with EVERYONE in the family over the pandemic and whatnot; I can be paranoid sometimes. Although mother has been placating me with “listening ears”—all a lie—she still went to church on Tuesday. I have now resorted to throwing heavy shade and thinly veiled threats of how I will not pity anybody that gets the virus on my WhatsApp status which is set for only the family to view.

    Oh yes! I also get the parents to tell on each other’s hand washing regimen; I speak mildly and rebuke them gently as incentive to snitch. My father says he can feel his skin bleaching from how much he washes his hands. Hahaha… Funny man.

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