Of Pets and Peeves
Today’s post is about something on the other side of favorites: pet peeves. You know, those seemingly little things that drive us nuts. It was a tough call choosing them but these are some of my top ones. Writing this was quite an experience as the thought of them alone makes me shudder.
1. People who come to the movies to chatter non-stop.
I understand the irrepressible need to pass a few comments every now and then during the course of the movie, but there are people who insist on talking through the entire the length of the movie. This might come as a shock to you but we didn’t pay to come hear you have a conversation with your friend during the movie. An advanced stage of this illness is seen in people who decide to have long phone calls in the cinema.
These people are an existential threat to our civilization.
Did you just forget that there are other people here who came to enjoy the cinematic experience without distractions? That look everyone is giving you is not because we are intrigued by your conversation, but one of disbelief that you would choose your own personal preference over everyone’s. We cannot stand you, and it’s a taking a lot to not lunge across to your seat and snatch that phone out of your hand.
2. Being constantly on the mobile phone in the middle of a conversation.
I only have one question for people like this: at what point did you discover you were an absolute degenerate?
It’s different when you let the person you’re speaking with know that you have an urgent email to send or respond to. But a whole physical human being is right there in front of you, and you are neck deep into your phone, scrolling through social media, and even worse, laughing out loud? You think I don’t have better things to do?
If I’m having a good day, I try to confront the person about it.
On days when I don’t have time for nonsense, I will return the favor and bring out my phone, and start looking through Jumia for juicy deals, since we all want to be insane. Alternatively, I will sit still and dramatically stare at the walls and ceilings. I wait for the awkward silence to set in, until they notice and they are shamed into dropping their phones.
3. When you send people memes and they lack the appropriate reaction.
There are social rules you must follow. I mean, I take time out to send you this meme or tweet that has me rolling on the floor, and you reply with a weak, faint, and lifeless ‘Lol‘.
Am I joke to you?
Where are my ten laughing emojis? You mean you couldn’t spare a few more ‘ooooo’s to that ‘LOL‘. Well you can be assured that I will not be disturbing you with any such things again. It’s simply unacceptable and you can’t really blame me for reassessing our friendship.
4. Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle.
The way you squeeze your toothpaste tube says a lot about you! Someone was kind enough to lend you their tube of toothpaste and how you choose to repay them is with this kind of dastardly act? Have you no morals or sense of dignity? Do you really think St. Peter will let you through the gates of heaven?
There are a lot more things but I can feel my blood pressure start to rise so I’ll stop here. What are those trivial things you find unbearable?
Thanks for reading! See you tomorrow.
People who talk at the cinemas are the worst!
I don’t know why people squeeze toothpaste from the middle but its very very wrong??
This made me laugh thanks
The government actually needs to do something about them.
People that feel like they can touch me on the head or rub my cheeks. I’m a grown ass woman and you are touching my cheeks because?…
Thank you Lanre!❤️
That lack of manners is just…
Thanks for reading Ezinne!?
‘Will St Peter let you through the gates of heaven’??
I thought it was just me who couldn’t stand the toothpaste thing
For me, it’s people with bad table manners. Like why can I hear the sound of your mouth from three streets away????.
My goodness!? Like why involve the rest of us in your digestion process?
Thank you Winnie❤️
The toothpaste says a lot.
Thanks for reading!
I’m definitely on tables 1,2 and 3. And on behalf of my table members, I promise to do better . (Dah cinema own go shaa hard, sorry not sorry ??)
Please repent sir!???
I’m on a few tables myself. I think I stopped caring where anyone pressed the toothpaste tube a while ago. I promise to do better on that one… Eventuarry.
I think I relate best to 2, but it’s not a punishable offence in my books (can’t even remember atm what is).
Anyhu, nice one, Dee.
I squeeze my toothpaste from the middle tho ????
Shewa I always knew you were a vagabond but this is just…
Module, you are becoming a complete work! And I have been thinking that I am the only one who does not miss a thing, the only one who can laugh through mortal’s foibles. So you noticed.
About time you follow back on Twitter.
Thank you for reading!??
See what an autocorrect can do! ‘Module’ for precious Modupe my Sidney Sheldon Abidakun! None should mention Artificial Intelligence to me this week.