Venus in Lucozade

While I’m not deep into horoscopes and interpreting planet positions, I enjoy reading about zodiac signs and associated personality traits. Astrology appeals to the human obsession with understanding ourselves. What’s better than reading (mostly) good things about yourself? And the memes?

Make Lucozade jokes all you want, you have to admit some of these astrology descriptions can be oddly specific and accurate.

My birthday is February 10, so friends, they say that makes me an Aquarius woman. Aquarians are born between January 21^st and February 19^th, they belong to the air element, and ruled by the planet Uranus (associated with disruption, the unconventional, the slightly freaky. Hm.)

Fun fact: I’m not stating Aquarius is the best zodiac sign or anything but… Charles Darwin and Oprah are Aquarians. Just saying.

Here are some of the things the astrologers said, let’s see if they fit:

• Analytical: Aquarians live largely in their own head(true). They love dissecting knowledge, deconstructing conventions, thinking about outer space.

LOL nibo? I am not any analytical thinker plis. If I seem lost in thought, I was probably overthinking the way I said something back in 2015, not deliberating about the cosmos.

• Original: Known to be eccentric, free-spirited independent thinkers that like to come to their own conclusions about things. They like to keep an open mind about things, and appreciate thinking outside the box.

What box? I am team originality for life. I appreciate the original, the unconventional. That said, I draw the line at weird clothes and bizarre hair dos. In my personal life and relations, I may be a bit erratic sometimes, but I balance this with my innate, irresistible wit and charms.

• Easy going: They try not to sweat the small stuff.

I truly believe we’ll all be a bit healthier without the unnecessary stress and drama. Let’s say yes to openness, honest communication, kindness and a resounding no to inflated egos and overbearing personalities. Life is too short for all that wahala, you know?

• Unpredictable: Aquarians have a sense of freedom and they never want to be limited by what others think of them and how they will want them to be. Just when you think you’re starting to know them, they do something that completely surprises you.

Eyah. A friend once described me as being ‘predictably unpredictable’, I laughed, and told him he sounded ridiculous. Accurate too.

• One thing to look out for is Aquarius’ unrelenting anger should they be betrayed. Cross them, and the relationship will likely end right then and there! Don’t expect forgiveness.

LOL! Unfortunately, this is true sha. While I don’t get crossed often, when someone really hurts me, I prefer to take the let bygones be bygones approach. Till we meet at the feet of the Master. Patience Ozokwor vibes, no?

• Friendships: They are selective about who they allow into their inner circle and prefer quality over quantity when it comes to close friends. They have an unconditional love for their family and close friends.

LOL, shouldn’t we all? This is true as I don’t like to do half-assed relationships, I like my friendships solid, genuine, tightly knit.

Let me stop here.

Some astrologers believe that Aquarians represent the best of humankind and, you know what? I think I agree.

What are your thoughts on zodiac signs and personality traits? Do you think they’re credible, or it’s just a bunch of generalized statements bound to fit it in almost anyone? Abi it’s juju?