Razzmatazz: Of Air Conditioners and Mother Tongues

I will take you to three places.

First, to an office reception, some years ago, where I sat with my aunt, shivering. I did not have a fever. I was shivering because the air conditioner was set to a temperature of 16 degrees. Please note that the average outdoor temperature is 27 degrees.

When asked if the temperature could be adjusted, the receptionist gave us a cold ‘no’, that it was just fine. I was in utter confusion because she was visibly uncomfortable as well, as I could see her trying to keep warm, rubbing her palms together. read more...

IT’S NOT BY FORCE

Hi guys. It’s been a minute.

Like a lot of millennials, I have my own small scale business and I will now proceed to do some shameless advertising. I’m available to bake amazing cakes for all occasion. I have a business event coming soon and I am already stressed in advance, thinking of the physical work ahead.

I’ve had an interesting timeline.

In my first year I tried out lots of new things. It was exciting testing out a cake design for the first time and getting it right. Getting cake orders from out of state. Getting positive feedback from customers. Also, because I had been a victim of terrible customer service, I was willing to bend over backwards for my customers. I do not recommend. read more...

A WEEK IN HISTORY

One of my least favorite things to do is cross the road.

This time last year, I was hit by a vehicle and broke my hip and one of my legs. I was in the hospital for some weeks, and also had to spend a few months at home.

HOSPITAL

The first thing I remember is pain: the worst pain I had felt in my life, when a doctor worked to immobilize my broken leg. Later, my sister told me she had never heard me scream that way, and I don’t even recall screaming. It was mostly a painful blur.

The first days were filled with so much uncertainty. I remember there were times when it seemed like the terror and pain would suffocate me. I tried to keep it together those first days. Then I was told I’d have to be admitted in the hospital for at least six weeks and that I would need surgery and I started to cry. I just wanted to go home. read more...

I’m Upset (Not the Song by Drake)

Good morning.

Someone has done something silly and I’m not very happy about it.

I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday, and I came upon this tweet:

I really want to flog the person who wrote that tweet. Really bad. When I first saw it, I read it over again and again hoping it had some other meaning I couldn’t grasp.

“Pretty female honourable.”

What does that even mean? ‘She’s pretty and that’s what really matters, not her name?’ It’s saddening that the person saw nothing wrong with describing her as pretty alone, diminishing all her other attributes. read more...

A TALE OF 2 WINTERS

My MB 2 story begins with panic.

The weekend before my exams started, I got a couple of calls from my lecturers, asking if I had written some tests because my results could not be found. I was pretty shaken up as that was the last thing I needed to hear days to my exam. And how do results even go missing?

At long last, on a cloudy Monday morning, my winter finally arrived.

MONDAY

The first paper was Pharmacology, and we wrote all the papers: the Essay and Best Option Type(BOT), in one sitting.

The BOTs went well as a lot of the questions looked familiar, save a few about ergotamines and some rather unfriendly topics. When I was done, there was still about 30 minutes left, and I attempted to use that time to recall answers to possible essay questions. I gave up soon enough and waited for the next paper. read more...

MY VILLAGE PEOPLE ARE FINALLY HERE

Ladies and gentlemen.

My Part 2 Medical Board examinations are in 12 days, and research has shown that I have covered about 40 percent of what I should know.

There are moments now, when I just sit and stare into space, thinking about my life and having conversations with myself. How did I end up in this situation again? You mean after the terror that my Part 1 exams showed me I didn’t turn over a new leaf? Disappointed but not surprised.

On the bright side, my panic monster is now awake and all of a sudden I recognize the textbooks that are concise and easy to read. The fog has lifted and it is now clear which topics are high-yield, and which are the low-yield ones I’ll be reading on the way to the exam hall. read more...

ONDO TALES: OF ASUN AND LEGWORK

While my mates spent this extended Easter break reading for our forthcoming MB 2 exams, I was away at Ondo State for my cousin’s wedding, doing a lot of wining, dining and dancing. My plan was to eat my life away and deal with the consequences later.

Before we took off, I had to dash to get my asoebi dress, because the best clothes are gotten from your tailor at the dying minute, on the very day you need it, or at best a day before. If you get your cloth anything earlier than that, you should know that your tailor didn’t give it their best shot. read more...

AT LEAST WE HAVE JOLLOF RICE

It is without regret or remorse that I admit that one of the things I would miss the most after medical school is the 24 hour electricity I enjoy in my hostel, a perk of being in the hospital premises.

But because this is Nigeria and we don’t do 24 hour electricity, there needs to be occasional power outage. The most recent one was these past couple of days, and the nights were indeed dark and full of terror. I even had time to do ridiculous things like go for a walk. I can only hope the siege is over. NEPA abeg. read more...

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN

OP

No, this is not a post about Oprah. This is about procrastination.

I am a seasoned procrastinator who has had all kinds of streaks. I once wrote an article for a whole year. I have been reading Rich Dad Poor Dad for about 3 years now and sometimes, I procrastinate even after the deadline has passed. I have seen some pretty dark times.

I would like to say I have been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember, but that would not be true. I wasn’t always like this. There was a time I read and did my work when I was supposed to. I was the pride and joy of my Physics teacher. read more...

TO MY DEAREST PEDIATRICS

I have just concluded my first Pediatrics rotation and I am very glad that it is over. It lasted for eight weeks, and was filled with numerous highs and lows.

I resumed the rotation with a huge sense of foreboding. The glimpse of sick children I had gotten during my Surgery rotation had terrified me enough; and now I was about to spend weeks seeing children managed for all kinds of illness. I had also heard scary stories from friends, about how the doctors were super strict, never-smiling and always on the edge. read more...